problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
