Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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