I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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