Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
