ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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