I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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