so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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