I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
