we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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