please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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