Is it because I queefed?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
