i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Everything about him screamed your future.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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