Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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