Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
