Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
