saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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