this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
