Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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