Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
