One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You made out with two different species that night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
