Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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