Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
