Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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