I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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