??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
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It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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