Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
