Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
