so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
