god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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