Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
