doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
