So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
