Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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