yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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