Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
