I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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