is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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