New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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