can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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