I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
