You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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