I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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