Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
