im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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