My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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