he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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