i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
