He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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