ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
