I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
