It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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