Will you blow on my dice?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
