You're earring is so big in my mouth
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
