Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
