Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
a search helicopter?!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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