Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize