You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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