So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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